The World According To Miranda
by thechaosdiva
Summary: It's basically what the title says it is. This story is FINISHED!!!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. I Talk A Lot

Why does everybody always want to talk about Lizzie? What could possibly be so interesting in   
her life that she deserves the attention I should be getting? I mean, I'm not hating on her or anything, it's   
just that I feel overshadowed sometimes. I guess you could call me jealous. I don't try to be jealous, it's   
just, well. how would you feel if you lived in a boring little suburban town where all the people look   
like clones of each other? They all have the blonde hair and pert little noses and I totally stick out. Not   
that I'm complaining, I mean, I totally live for attention. Why else would I wear what I wear and do   
what I do?   
Okay, so I'm being longwinded. I may actually be babbling. I've been told before that I babble   
but I never really took it seriously, I mean, who really knows if they're babbling unless someone tells   
them, right? I mean, if I was babbling you would totally tell me, right? Oh. I knew it. I'm babbling again.  
So I suppose the next thing to do would be to tell you about myself, but let's be completely   
honest here. If you don't know who I am, then you obviously shouldn't be listening to me chatter on and   
on. I guess most of you know me best as "Lizzie's sidekick" or "that wacko Hispanic girl" or simply "hey   
you". I'd like to think that I'm much more complex than that. I have a multi-faceted personality   
composed of many complex thoughts and emotions. But I guess you didn't know that. Oh, but you will.   
And soon the world will know as well!   
Okay, maybe not the world, but definitely the whole town!   



	2. Lizzie McGuire Took An Axe

Chapter 2: Lizzie McGuire Took An Axe...  
Okay, so I told you that the whole town would know the person that is Miranda Sanchez. And they will. But by now you must be thinking, " Miranda, whatever could have caused you to suddenly think your best friend is a used dishrag?" Well, my problems with Lizzie don't affect our friendship, but I'll be more than happy to tell you. I'll summarize it, because I know lengthy explanations get real old, real fast. Bottom line-it's a jealousy thing. I'm not too proud to admit it, but hell, at least I've got the guts to do so. Okay, so now you're probably all "Oh, look, little Miranda is jealous, I can't imagine why!" Well, here's a quick rundown of why I'm a lovely shade of jade. Hey, that rhymed, I'll be damned; didn't know I had such skills. Oh, right, list, well... here.  
Okay, first of all, she's blonde. Not that I'd ever want to be blonde, but still, blondes get attention. More attention than brunettes with sparkling personalities. Next, there's that whole Ethan thing. I mean, he's totally dumb and everything, but I was the one who had a real relationship with him! So why does he want to eat lunch with her? I suppose it's a blonde thing, you know, because of Kate and everything. But I digress. And another thing. Gordo never brought me coffee! Not that I'd want him to, it's gross and yucky and tastes like dishwater. Used dishwater. But it's the principle of the thing. Sure if I asked him to he probably would, but I don't see why you'd rely on somebody else to do something you were perfectly capable of doing yourself. And yet ANOTHER thing. (Do I sound bitter yet?) Aaron Carter. Yes I know he's a goofy little pop star, but well, I like him. And when I sang for him, he was totally mesmerized. Slack jaw, glazed eyes, the whole deal. But then Lizzie goes to get her tape recorder and POOF! it's all "Miranda who?" and "Baby, I swear I meant to call, really I did." Okay so I made that part up. I so didn't give him my phone number, I mean come on, he's hot and stuff but he is a stranger. Anyways, I guess that's about it. Oh, except for the time I was in the school play. Yeah I totally sucked, but COME ON PEOPLE! It was stage fright... yeah, that's it. Now I don't want any of you thinking I despise Lizzie. I love her to pieces. She is my best friend after all. There are just times when I need to shine, you know what I'm saying? So much for a summary.  
So that's my whole jealousy issue. Which is the reason why I'm putting my master plan into effect. It's gonna kick majorly, I promise you that. Except for my plan to work, I'm going to have to enlist the cause of my anguish, Lizzie McGuire, to help me. And Gordo, too... can't leave him out...  
  
  



	3. Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty

Chapter 3: Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty  
  
Okay, I am going to say that I am officially a genius! That's right, me, Miranda Sanchez, a genius. But how did this sudden burst of geniusness come about? Well, I'll be totally glad to tell you.   
So I'm walking to school last Tuesday when I trip over this newspaper lying on the sidewalk. So normally I would have been like "whatever", but for some reason I was compelled to look at it. I think it was because the front cover was in color, which was totally cool. Anyways, I was looking at the paper when I saw a little box at the bottom of the paper that said "New Section: Classified ads, details, page eight". So by then I was like "I should so check this out..." so I opened the paper and started reading.  
Well let me tell you, people sell a lot of stuff, but then I noticed this one ad which said that there was going to be an open casting call at Ren-Mar warehouses for a singing group called Sugar, and get this... they were auditioning girls ages eight to eighteen! And I said to myself, "Miranda, you can so do this, you can sing, and well... as for the dancing... I'm sure it's not that important."  
But then I thought, what if it is important and I blow it because I can't dance? I can't take that chance; this is the only way I can get attention. I know it's not a very healthy attitude to have, but hell, I was totally desperate.  
So that brings me to where I am right now, standing on the McGuire's porch holding the newspaper and a c.d. of showtunes. Lizzie graciously offered to help me learn to dance, which is funny, because I don't think I've ever seen her dance either.  
  
"Hey, Miranda, what's up?"  
  
Damn it, I had a good internal monologue going. Who dares interrupt!? So I turned around ready to lecture the thought dissipater, until I found out who it was.  
  
"Oh, hey Gordo."  
  
He's got his camera!! What is he doing with his camera?! Is he planning on documenting the humiliation that is Miranda learning to dance?! I swear I'd better not wind up on "America's Stupidest Videos" or something. Of course, then I realized that Gordo and that camera are practically attached at the hip. So instead of biting Gordo's head off about the camera I smiled and played it cool.  
  
"So, have you come to tape my klutziness?"  
  
Real cool, Sanchez.  
  
"No," said Gordo, knocking on the door, "I've come to tape a behind the scenes documentary on the sheer idiocy of the entertainment industry."  
  
It's a good thing Lizzie answered the door just then, or I would've popped Gordo in the jaw.  



	4. Mighty Matt

Chapter 4: Mighty Matt  
  
" Shake your love, I just can't shake your love; shake your love, I just can't shake your love..."  
  
Ah, Debbie Gibson, your words ring as true today as they did back in your time. I mean, I can totally understand what it's like to want someone who doesn't necessarily want you... at least, I think that's what the song means... Whatever, it's from the 80s. Nothing made sense then.  
Anyways, Lizzie and I were dancing to this "musical monstrosity", as Gordo so eloquently put it. Well, I'm sorry, but I have to practice, and I hardly think I could dance up a storm to "Mr. Bojangles"! Besides, I can do the running man like it's nobody's business!  
So Lizzie and I were attempting to dance. We had turned on MTV and muted the sound. See, I'm using Debbie Gibson's song as my audition song, so we were just practicing dance moves from different music videos along with my song.   
  
"Is it supposed to look like that?" asked Gordo, swinging his camera from Lizzie and me tripping over our feet to the Britney video on TV.  
  
Lizzie stopped dancing and glared at Gordo, " Look, you said you were gonna tape us. If you want to make fun of us, you can leave."  
  
Gordo smirked, "But it's so easy to make fun of you."  
  
"That's it!" cried Lizzie, storming over to Gordo.  
  
"Guys!" I cried, "You're totally not helping!"  
  
"Sorry, Miranda," both mumbled.  
  
"Right," I said as Lizzie joined me, "now I think it goes left, step, right, pivot, shimmy, AAAAHHHH!"  
  
Ah, Lizzie McGuire and Miranda Sanchez, the two most graceful hippos in the jungle. I seriously don't know how we managed to trip over each other, because we were like a foot apart. Of course Matt chose that moment to make his obligatory appearance.  
  
Matt turned to Gordo, "Are they practicing to be professional wrestlers?"  
  
Gordo gave Matt a glance that clearly said 'Oh joy, a rugrat!' "Not exactly," he said.  
  
"Too bad," Matt remarked, "they could be the tag-team duo of Ditz one and Ditz two."  
  
By this time Lizzie and I had managed to untangle ourselves and she stood up and advanced towards Matt.  
  
"You'd better leave us alone Matt the Brat," she threatened.  
  
"Or you'll do what?" challenged Matt.  
  
"This!!" cried Lizzie, chasing him around the downstairs and then up the stairs.  
  
I watched the sibling spectacle, and then turned to Gordo, who was leaning against the couch. He had a pensive, slightly confused look on his face.  
  
"Gordo," I asked, "have you been taping all of this? I mean, I know you got us dancing, but did you tape Hurricane Lizzie and Tropical Storm Matt?"  
  
"Yeah," he said slowly, almost distractedly.  
  
"You know, Gordo," I said, walking towards him, "if this dancing thing we're doing annoys you so much, you can leave."  
  
"I'm not annoyed by your dancing," said Gordo.  
  
"Then what is it?" I asked, tired of his evasiveness.  
  
"Well," he blew out a breath loudly and continued, "I just think it's really brave of you to go out there and audition like this. This is a major audition you're going to, and I don't know how many people would have the courage to do something like this. I mean, even Lizzie wouldn't go for it like you, and she's probably the most courageous person I know."  
  
I stared at Gordo, almost in awe at his impromptu soliloquy. I never knew Gordo was so supportive of this. I mean, my own parents think I'm being silly. I'm sure I blushed as I stared at Gordo in confusion. With Lizzie and Matt upstairs, the only sound in the house was the pulsating Debbie Gibson song.  
  
"Shake your love, I just can't shake your love..."  



	5. Wherefore art Thou, Gordo?

Chapter 5: Wherefore art Thou, Gordo?  
  
Okay, so I think it MUST be a tradition for every middle school English class to read "Romeo and Juliet" at least once in their short time there. It's really ridiculous if you think about it. I mean, sure, Romeo and Juliet were like, our age, but still, we don't understand true love or whatever. We're 13! And like, maybe back in the day Romeo and Juliet were mature enough, but people back then died at age 20 or something. In a word, totally unrealistic. Okay, that was two words.  
Anyways, back to reality. We're all in English class and Kate and Ethan are acting out the famous "balcony scene".  
  
"Romeo, Romeo, like, wherefore art thou Romeo?" asked Kate, her voice trembling, "Deny thy father and like, refuse thy name! Or if thou… will? No wait, hold on, wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."  
  
"All right, let's cut it there," said Mr. Coppersmith. "Now then, can anybody tell me what Juliet is saying here?"  
  
Kate raised her hand. "I think she's saying that, like, she misses Romeo and that she wants him there because they're in love."  
  
Mr. Coppersmith was about to say something when Gordo cut him off.  
  
"That's not right at all," he said.  
  
Mr. Coppersmith turned, "Well then, Mr. Gordon, if you're so enlightened, please share your opinion with the rest of the class."  
  
Gordo turned to face Kate, "Juliet isn't asking WHERE Romeo is, she's questioning why he has to be a Montague. If his last name was Lewis or something, no one would care that they were secretly involved; it was only because their parents were in a feud that she's so miserable."  
  
Mr. Coppersmith walked towards Gordo, "Well class, it appears Mr. Gordon has hit the proverbial nail on the head with his answer."  
  
So after class I was walking to my locker and I began to think about things. You know, Gordo, is like, really brilliant if you think about it. I mean, I thought she wanted to know where Romeo was. But then I realized, Gordo's always that brilliant. He always knows stuff that the rest of us don't. You know, if you actually think about it, Gordo's not that bad looking. In fact, in certain circumstances, he could be considered cute. Not Ethan cute, but cute nonetheless. As a matter of fact, the possibility of dating Gordo wouldn't be entirely out of the question…  
  
"AAAAHHHH!!!!!!" I cried as someone smacked into me.  
  
"Hey, watch where you're going!"   
  
"Manage to move much?"  
  
"Hey you! Get out of my way!"  
  
Crap. School was out and I was blocking everyone's path to freedom. Might as well get to Lizzie's to rehearse. I'll think about Gordo some other time… WAIT! What am I saying!? I can't like GORDO, I mean come on!! It's GORDO!! Awww, hell, at least now I know how Juliet feels.  
  



	6. Fame!

Chapter 6: Fame!  
  
Okay, today's the day!! I am totally nervous and totally excited. But since I'm so nervous, I haven't eaten anything all day. I wonder if it's possible to puke with only air in your stomach…  
Hold that thought…  
*  
*  
*  
Yeah, it's possible. So now I have to brush my teeth again. Thank God for mouthwash.  
Why am I so nervous? I live for this kind of stuff!! Okay, Miranda, calm down, breathe, breathe, WHY AREN"T YOU BREATHING!!!???? Okay, okay, I'll be fine, I have memorized my dance steps, I have learned my song, and everything will be FINE!!  
Wait a minute, someone's at the door; I guess I'd better answer it.  
  
So hands shaking, I opened the door to reveal Lizzie and Gordo.  
  
"Break a leg, Miranda!!" said Gordo, giving me a hug. Ah, nice hug. I wouldn't mind staying like this for a few minutes; or hours…  
  
"Gordo!!" exclaimed Lizzie, "Don't wish for her to break a leg, that's awful!!!"  
  
"Lizzie, that's not… never mind," said Gordo. Turning back to me he smiled shyly, "I know you'll do great, Miranda."  
  
Look at me; way up high, I'm FLYING!!! Ah…sweet Gordo. I can do this!! I'll whip everyone's butt!!  
  
Lizzie then came up to me.  
  
"Miranda," she said, "I am so excited that you have this opportunity. You're going to do a great job, and just think; I'll be able to say I know a celebrity!"  
  
I blushed. It's times like this that I really love my friends.  
  
"Well," began Lizzie, "That's all we wanted to say; we know you're busy, so good luck, and call me tonight with the details!"  
  
Lizzie turned and began walking down my front walk while Gordo stood there.  
  
"Yeah, Gordo?" I asked, "What's up?"  
  
Gordo bit his bottom lip. "I just…good luck, Miranda."  
  
And then he briefly kissed me on the lips.  
  
I love show biz.  



	7. Nerves...

Chapter 7: Nerves…  
  
OH MY GOD!!!!! I cannot believe I just did that! This is quite possibly the biggest thing that's ever happened to me! And guess what? The local paper was there!! I'm going to be in the paper!!! Time for a short break to do my happy dance!!!!  
*  
*  
*  
The happy dance will have to wait. The phone just rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Miranda? It's Lizzie. How did today go?"  
  
"It was awesome!! I was really, really nervous, but I went out there and performed my song, and didn't even trip at the pivot-shimmy part!!!"  
  
"AHHH! That's totally awesome!!!"  
  
"I know!"  
  
"So, what were the other competitors like?"  
  
"There were a lot of older girls, 16 and up, and they were all really good, like they had taken professional lessons. They all sang Whitney Houston songs."  
  
"Wow, I'm glad you chose something different."  
  
"Me too. But Lizzie, now I'm really scared. What if I don't get called back? What if they think I suck? What am I going to do?"  
  
"Miranda?! Calm down! You did great and…UGH…Matt absolutely has to use the phone, but I'll see you in school tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Hasta la vista, chica."  
  
"Bye, Miranda."  
  
Poor Lizzie. I'm glad my baby sister doesn't know how to use the phone yet. I can't imagine how horrible that would be. Now, where was I? Oh yes, that's right, happy dance.  
*  
*  
*  
The happy dance will have to wait. The phone just rang again.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Miranda? Hey, it's Gordo."  
  
"Gordo? Uh, hi Gordo, what's up…?"  
  
"I just wanted to see how today went."  
  
"Today was great, really great."  
  
"That's good. Um, did you wait a long time at the audition?"  
  
"Yeah, uh, it took a couple of hours."  
  
"Really? Hmm…I wouldn't have figured it to take that long…"  
  
"Well, it was."  
  
"Mmmhmm…"  
  
"Gordo?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"This is the worst phone conversation we've ever had."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well…uh…um…Miranda?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Umm…I liked it."  
  
"Liked what?"  
  
"Kissing you today."  
  
"Oh. Uh…I liked it too."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Great!"  
  
"So, uh…I'll see you tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Bye, Gordo."  
  
"Bye, Miranda."  
  
And now ladies and gentlemen, my happy dance!!!! Woo, uh, uh, yeah!! Wahoo! Break it down now…  



	8. A Little Tenderness

Chapter 8: A Little Tenderness  
  
Usually, I hate school. I think I've perfected the art of the excuse. Every day I whine about going, so you can imagine my mom's total surprise when I left early for school today. You see, now I have a reason to go to school…  
  
"Hey, Miranda."  
  
Hello reason!!!! Life rocks. Have I mentioned yet how ridiculously happy I am yet? Well I am. Ridiculously happy, that is.  
  
"Hi, Gordo."  
  
Gordo walked over to me, an excited look on his face. I know that look. It's the look that says "I have a secret and when I tell you, you're going to jump up and smother me with kisses." Well, I may do that anyways, hehehehe. I am such a dork.  
  
"What're you so happy about?"  
  
"Look!" exclaimed Gordo, thrusting the school paper in my face, "read Lizzie's column."  
  
So I read it.  
  
  
Happy Feet  
By Lizzie McGuire  
  
What do you get when you combine 1500 girls, 3000 tap shoes, and 300 choreographers? You get the largest audition for a female pop group that hasn't been seen since the likes of the Spice Girls. Miranda Sanchez was one such competitor at the auditions held this past weekend. After months of training, Miranda, armed with a song and a smile, took the stage in the performance of a lifetime. Will she get called back? The answer is uncertain, but it seems as though Miranda has already won.  
  
  
Holy cow!!! I'm in the paper and there's a picture of me and AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! It was then that I jumped on Gordo and kissed him on the cheek.  
  
"This is incredible!!" I cried, "How did…WHEN did…AAAAHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Gordo smiled and proceeded to untangle himself from me. "She wrote it yesterday, and the paper came out this morning."  
  
"I love it, this is so cool, you have no idea!!!" I then kissed Gordo on the cheek again.  
  
Gordo laughed, "I might get some idea if you keep kissing me."  
  
"Oh, sorry about that," I said, positive I was as red as my shirt, "I'm just really excited."  
  
"Did I say I had a problem with it?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.  
  
I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a tiny kiss on his nose. "You are SO dumb."  
  
"Ah, you love it," scoffed Gordo.  
  
And I do.  
  
  
  
End  



End file.
